From the first few days, another resident followed him everywhere, called him by her husband's name and demanded that he belonged to her. She put her hands on him, she tried to drag him from his DARK room with me sitting there (twice within 10 minutes), and the community said she was only "shopping". Not to be alarmed. I told them I did not want them together because she frequented everyone's rooms and took things and I did not want him doing that. He would go into rooms but I never saw him with anything or anything in his room that he had carried there. Reportedly from staff, The Haven did little to keep them apart unless I was there. Finally, they told her husband who was furious and blamed my resident. I have no idea what the Haven told him. He also threatened to sue us. This conversation took place is the open hallway. He jumped me and refused to listen so I walked away but I ran into a volunteer there just around the corner and she said not to worry. I did worry and I decided that was the last straw. He fell over a chair in the dining room TWICE. He does not have good perception of where he is sitting and the chairs have narrow arms and rollers on the front two legs. He would sit on the arm of the chair and tip it and land in the floor. The caregiver said they saw it but they don't help people get into chairs! I told them I am paying for level 3 care which means almost the highest level and since I do most of the rest of his care, the least they could do was get him safely into a chair instead of watching him fall. He also broke a low door (gate type) at the center kitchen. They told me he broke it but not how or if he fell. I can't imagine how he didn't fall. One of the caregivers finally told me that he was attempting to climb over it. Why didn't they intervene? On one morning when I arrived I waited just outside his bathroom door while the caregiver was supposedly preparing him for the day. The caregiver brushed his teeth with Desitin! I was told they would buy him a new toothbrush, small gesture, and it never happened. No apology to him, he was not seen by a clinical person, he just got to EAT the Desitin. At first they said he did it, but I have brushed his teeth for two years and he couldn't even put the toothpaste on the brush so he could not have done it. You had to put the toothpaste on the brush and help him get it to his mouth before he understood. Plus I went into the bathroom immediately to clean up and found the Desitin on the toothbrush. It was also on the outside of his mouth and all in his teeth! I complained that they did not make his bed properly. The corner sheets were not pulled and the sheet was basically a ball in the middle of the bed. Many days, I changed the sheets because they were dirty and stained from personal accidents and still on his bed. Sometimes there would be no blanket. No consistency. I re-made his bed almost every day. When I complained that he was smelly, I was told they didn't know how to shower him and I needed to assist. That wasn't until the last week he was there. I only know of one other shower. I was told that he wandered into rooms when people were in bed (between 6-10pm) so I needed to be there every night to take care of him or hire someone to do it...an additional cost he could not afford. I was already there most of every day so I just stayed with him. I am not young and this was difficult for me. Also, several nights I sat there for 2 hours on the sofa with him while he slept before they tried to put him to bed. One night it took three people to drag him into a wheel chair because he was so limp, and drag him into bed! I sat there every night and watched caregivers watch movies, and sit at a desk after everyone was in bed and I was still there. They never offered to put him to bed or watch him so I could go home. Once when I arrived, he only had on a t-shirt and no long sleeve shirt. I asked why and the cna said he had taken it off. I said where is it? She said she had no idea, and she made no effort to re-dress him. He gets cold. I had to have a sign put on his closet to tell them to put socks on him and an undershirt. Another evening I arrived at dinner time and everyone was seated for dinner except for him. I asked where he was and no one knew. I ran from community to community (there are 3) asking if anyone had seen him? Finally, they could see I was frantic and they started looking for him and he was in a bathroom in one of the rooms trying to go. He could have fallen and they would have served dinner and never even wondered why he wasn't there. The laundry would be a balled up mess in his closet. His socks would come from the laundry looking dirtier than when they went. I don't know how they did that! HIs t-shirts often looked like they have been balled in a knot. The last day they just dropped his laundry off in a mess in his clothes basket. I brought him sandwiches and snacks for the middle of the night in case he woke up. I did most of his personal care....very rarely was he shaved. He wore the same clothes more than one day and he slept in these same clothes as well. Sometimes his medication was given as early as 7 pm. The idea was for him to have it later so he could sleep through the night. When I said something about that being way to early, the med tech just said 'it didn't matter. But if he woke up in the night and started wandering it was a big deal and the caregivers complained about it to me. The food was adequate, but since I was there for most meals it was apparent that the menu was short and the meal rotation was very frequent. I was there most of every day trying to take care of him and still there is an exhaustive list of errors and negligence. I would say that because he was a man, it was difficult for them as he didn't fit the routine of the ladies. Although prior to admission I told them he wandered and I was told it was fine, that they all do that. Well that is true if you are a lady but he was a man and that mattered. The ladies wandered in and out of rooms all time but I was required to be there because he was a man and I was told that the loved ones of others were upset. But I guess these families did not object to having a male employee bathe these ladies late at night. I observed one lady walking back to her room with her whole backside exposed and she had been bathed by a man. But for some reason they could not bathe my resident. I spent most of every day there and still paid for level 3 care. I would not say we received level 3 care as I understand it. If they could not care for him and protect him from other residents, they should not have accepted him. Keep in mind he was only there a few weeks.